Friday, January 28, 2011

My Theory

I have a lot of theories. This is just one of them.

You have heard, I suppose, of hot flashes, right? The ones that come with aging and women. Ugh, I know, I know. If you haven't been there yet, then you probably WILL be one day. Maybe. I guess there's ways to avoid it, but not in my case ("having all my parts," as my sister would say).

So, here's my dilemma. WHY? What is the purpose of these silly things?

Is there a reason? I really wondered about it. I'm very curious. I even asked my Dr. son. He didn't know. So here's my theory:

In the beginning days when we all lived in caves, Woman needed to keep warm when the man forgot to wake up and put another log on the fire. Thus, she had a hot flash to keep her cozy until the heat was increased.

Later, Woman lived in chilly castles or damp cottages on the moors. Another place that a hot flash would be a very welcome respite from the biting cold. [or your ancestors might have been from Russia, Scandinavia, etc. Same thing)

Women lived shorter lives in earlier days. We ALL died young(er). Maybe the hot flashes were some sort of a preservation thing -- like boiling blood, you know? Did it help kill germs and vermin?

Now to present days: 50 + years is WAAAAY too old to have a baby, so hot flashes serve to shove the men out of bed and out of reach and out of any possibility to participate. 40-ish is old, but doable. 50's? Forget it .. . . and don't remind me of those record-holders out there. I know there are exceptions. This is just my THEORY, remember?

My other theory has to do with limberness of joints and wardrobes. Yes, wardrobes. One has to dress very carefully and in multiple layers in order to shed the unnecessary ones quickly. And then put them back on again after the flash passes. And then take them off. If you're just talking about a sweater, think about all the exercises those shoulders are getting! Just think of how much better off our Relief Society Arms are going to look! Sweater on! Sweater OFF!! Sweater On! Sweater OFF!!

Well, I'm going to go put some socks on. That has nothing to do with anything above. My feet are just cold. It IS January, you know!!


Donna said...

Ha! Love it!

Tandy said...

Wow! I just had a really good laugh!! ;o) I know it was at your expense, but I also know that I will be there someday and you can watch and say... "I TOLD you so!!"
You crack me up! And hey, maybe your theory is right!

Suzanne said...

You are too funny! Kirk gets what he calls heat attacks sometimes for absolutely no reason. I told him it's in preparation for my hot flashes and he can have sympathy for me. :-)